Giftedness
Are you gifted, and does your quick mind sometimes create challenges of its own? Many gifted people struggle with overstimulation, with perfectionism, or with the feeling of being 'different'. I help you understand your own way of thinking and use it as a strength rather than a burden.
Do you recognise this?
- You often think in 'what if' scenarios, and worry about things other people do not see
- Perfectionism stops you starting things, or finishing them
- You feel overwhelmed by all the possibilities and options in life
- Social situations take a lot of energy, because you notice and analyse so much
- You are often disappointed in yourself, despite what you achieve
- Existential questions and questions of meaning keep you awake at night
- You feel misunderstood by others, or you keep your real thoughts to yourself
- You are underachieving, or you often switch jobs or courses
What is giftedness?
Giftedness means that your brain processes information faster and makes more complex connections than average. It often comes with more intense emotions, with perfectionism and with high sensitivity. Giftedness is a talent, but it can also lead to stress, to being misunderstood by others, and to the feeling of not being good enough despite what you are capable of.
Many gifted adults feel that they do not fit. They have learned to adapt, to slow their pace and to dampen their intensity. That takes an enormous amount of energy, and it can lead to difficulties such as burnout, depression or a sense of pointlessness.
Recognising and understanding your giftedness is often a turning point. Not because there is something wrong with you, but because you finally understand why you feel so different. From there you can learn to shape your life in a way that suits you.
Symptoms of giftedness
Cognitive characteristics
- An unrelenting thought process: your mind never stops
- Making connections quickly and thinking ahead
- Boredom with routine or superficial tasks
- Perfectionism and high demands on yourself
Emotional intensity
- Emotions felt more intensely than average
- A strong sense of justice
- Sensitivity to atmosphere, to tension and to anything that feels insincere
- Existential questions and a search for meaning
Social challenges
- A sense of being different, or of not belonging
- Difficulty with small talk and surface-level contact
- Adapting to other people's pace and level
- Not being understood by your partner, your colleagues or your friends
Do you recognise several of these symptoms? Book a free intro call and talk through what you are experiencing.
Treatment
Guidance with giftedness is about getting to know yourself. We work on self-acceptance, on finding balance, and on using your qualities without getting stuck in them.
Cognitive behavioural therapy
We look together at your thought patterns and learn to turn them into thoughts that help you. Aimed specifically at perfectionism and self-criticism.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Learn to accept your thoughts and feelings without getting stuck in them, and to focus on what really matters to you.
Schema therapy
We look at patterns that grew out of earlier experiences, such as 'never being good enough' or 'not belonging'.
Mindfulness and self-reflection
Develop an awareness of your thoughts without being swept along by them. Learn to find calm in a busy mind.
How long treatment takes
How long it takes depends on what you are asking for help with, and on how many patterns we want to break.
Short-term (6-12 sessions)
For a specific question, or when you have only recently recognised yourself in giftedness. Focused on psychoeducation, self-understanding and practical tools.
Medium-term (12-20 sessions)
For difficulties alongside it such as burnout, depression or relationship problems, or for working through a lifetime of adapting and what that has cost you.
The treatment lengths given here are a guide. Every programme runs differently, and we tune the treatment to your own situation and needs.
Curious what a course of treatment costs? See the prices per session and what your insurer or employer may cover.
See the pricesWhen to seek help
Seek help if you recognise the following:
- You are stuck, despite what you are capable of
- You constantly feel different, or misunderstood
- You have burnout, depression or anxiety that may be connected to your giftedness
- Perfectionism or fear of failure is holding you back
- You no longer know who you are underneath all the adapting
- You are looking for depth and meaning, but not finding it
What you can do yourself
Recognising your giftedness is already an important step. Here is what you can already do:
Looking for recognition
- Read books or listen to podcasts about giftedness in adults
- Get in touch with other gifted people. Recognising yourself in someone else is an enormous relief
- Take time to consider how you have always felt different, and what that has done to you
Room for your mind
- Give your mind the challenge and the depth it needs
- Deliberately set aside time for your interests and your passions
- Let go of the expectation that you have to function like everyone else
Finding balance
- Learn to know your limits and to respect them, even when other people do not understand
- Adapting less and being more yourself takes courage, but it gives energy back
- Make sure you get enough rest and time alone to recharge
Giftedness is not a problem to be solved. It is a trait that can be understood and embraced. Sometimes you need someone alongside you to do that.
Frequently asked questions about giftedness
No, an official diagnosis is not needed. If you recognise yourself in the characteristics and challenges of giftedness, therapy can help you, whether or not you have taken an IQ test.
Not quite. Many gifted people are also highly sensitive, but not all of them. High sensitivity is about intense sensory and emotional input, while giftedness is mainly cognitive. They do often overlap.
The aim is not to take perfectionism away completely. It is part of who you are. We work towards a healthier balance, so that perfectionism no longer blocks you but helps you where it is useful.
Absolutely. Many gifted people function perfectly well on the outside, but feel empty, tired or misunderstood on the inside. It is precisely those years of functioning well by adapting that can lead to difficulties in the end.
That is a common misunderstanding. The emotional intensity, the sense of being different and the struggle to find your place are real challenges that affect your wellbeing. Your difficulties are no less valid because you are intelligent.
Start today
Ready to take the first step?
Book a free, no-obligation 15-minute phone call and find out what I can do for you.