Parenting problems
You are doing your best, but it never feels like enough. The pressure, the guilt, the doubt. Parenting is the most wonderful role there is, and the heaviest. You do not have to carry this on your own.
Do you recognise this?
- You constantly feel that you are falling short as a parent
- You react to your children in ways you regret afterwards
- You are exhausted and feel that you have to do everything on your own
- You doubt your parenting choices all the time
- Your own upbringing plays a part in the parent you are, without you realising it
- You feel tension with your partner about raising the children
- Your child has behavioural problems and you no longer know how to respond
What are parenting problems?
Parenting problems arise when the pressure of being a parent grows greater than what you can carry. That is not weakness. It is a sign that you need support. The expectations of society, of the people around you and of yourself make parenting heavier than it needs to be.
Often your own experiences as a child play a part without your knowing it. The way you were raised shapes your automatic reactions as a parent. Sometimes you repeat patterns you do not actually want, or you do the exact opposite, but that too can bring problems of its own.
Therapy for parenting problems is not about becoming the perfect parent. It is about understanding what is going on, making room for your own needs, and standing in your role with more self-confidence and more calm.
Symptoms of parenting problems
Emotional signs
- Guilt about your parenting, or about the way you react
- Irritability and a short fuse with your children
- A sense of failing, or of never being good enough
- Feeling overwhelmed by the daily demands of parenting
Tension in your relationships
- Disagreement with your partner about parenting style
- Difficulty with co-parenting after a separation
- Comparing yourself with other parents and feeling that you do not measure up
- Less patience and less pleasure in time with your children
Personal consequences
- Losing your own identity outside of being a parent
- Exhaustion and a lack of time for yourself
- Worrying about your child's development
- The feeling that you have to do it all by yourself
Do you recognise several of these symptoms? Book a free intro call and talk through what you are experiencing.
Treatment
In therapy we look at you as a parent and as a person, both at once. We explore which patterns are playing a part, and how you can raise your children with more calm and more trust in yourself.
Parenting coaching
Practical tools for everyday parenting situations. We look at what works, at what does not work, and at why you react the way you do.
Exploring your own patterns
Your own upbringing shaped the parent you became. Once you understand which patterns you picked up from it, you can choose more consciously how you want to raise your children.
Emotion regulation
As a parent you are triggered constantly. You learn to recognise and regulate your own emotions better, so that you can respond more calmly in stressful moments.
Working with you as a parenting team
If the tension sits in your relationship with your partner as well, we look at the dynamic between the two of you as a parenting team. Getting on the same page makes parenting lighter.
How long treatment takes
How long a programme takes depends on what is going on and on how many patterns we want to break.
Short-term (6-10 sessions)
For specific parenting situations or for stress you are under right now. Focused on concrete skills and on relief straight away.
Medium-term (10-16 sessions)
For deeper patterns from your own upbringing, long-standing parenting stress, or a combination with personal difficulties.
The treatment lengths given here are a guide. Every programme runs differently, and we tune the treatment to your own situation and needs.
Curious what a course of treatment costs? See the prices per session and what your insurer or employer may cover.
See the pricesWhen to seek help
Seek help if you recognise the following:
- You feel overwhelmed by parenting, and it does not let up
- You react to your children in ways you do not want to
- Your own upbringing is playing a part you do not want it to play
- The tension between you and your partner about parenting is growing
- Your child shows behaviour you cannot get a grip on
- You feel that you have lost yourself in your role as a parent
What you can do yourself
Small adjustments can already make a difference to how you experience parenting:
Rest for yourself
- Deliberately plan moments for yourself. Even 15 minutes counts
- You cannot pour from an empty cup; looking after yourself is not a luxury
- Ask the people around you for help, and accept it when it comes
Responding rather than reacting
- When you notice that you are being triggered, take a moment before you respond
- Breathe in and out deeply three times before you say anything
- It is okay to say to your child: 'I need a moment'
Letting go of perfection
- There are no perfect parents, only good-enough parents
- Stop comparing on social media; you only see the best of it there
- Making mistakes is part of it, and it is something to learn from, for you and for your child
The very fact that you worry about your parenting already shows how much you care about your children. Sometimes all you need is someone to look at it with you.
Frequently asked questions about parenting problems
A combination of the two. We look at practical parenting situations, but also at the deeper patterns that play a part. The aim is that you feel better as a parent and as a person.
That is possible, but it is not necessary. Sometimes it is valuable to look at your parenting styles together. Other times working individually is more effective. We discuss together what suits you both best.
I do not treat children directly, but when you respond differently as a parent, a great deal often changes in your child's behaviour. If your child needs help of their own, I am happy to refer you to a therapist who specialises in working with children.
Entirely normal, and it says something good about how involved you are. Asking for help is not a sign of failure. It is a sign that you want the best for your child and for yourself.
Start today
Ready to take the first step?
Book a free, no-obligation 15-minute phone call and find out what I can do for you.